Passing the Peace
On Sunday morning around 10:35 a.m., I start to experience a scratchy throat, a bit of nausea, wet palms, an increased pulse, watery eyes, and deep anxiety. Perhaps you’re getting sick, you kindly suggest.
No, that’s not it, but going to get a drink of water does sound immensely tempting in those moments. Thank you for the idea!
What’s really going on is this: it’s time to turn and greet one another at church. This immediately leads to social anxiety within me - Which direction do I turn first? What if the person I turn to isn’t facing me? How long do I wait for them to turn my way? What if I go to shake a hand, and they want a hug? What if they cringe at how ice cold my hand is? What if they don’t want to shake hands at all? What do I even say? What if they want to talk longer? What if I can’t hear what they’re saying to me? What if the time drags on and on, and we’re stuck there having to talk longer, and we are perfect strangers? What if they make a joke that I don’t think is funny?
What if they say something that they THINK is a joke, and I don’t realize it’s a joke? What if they laugh, and I have no urge to laugh, and they just keep laughing, and it gets awkward? What if they ask how I am - am I honest and say the real descriptor, or do I just answer how everyone wants you to answer… fine, good, great? What if small talk is just totally not my cup of tea? There’s no rules to this dance, and it brings me to a crisis even anticipating it, so I will just be honest: I often do go find a drinking fountain and take a deep breath in a space where I don’t have to be forced to converse in an extremely awkward (to me) situation.
Maybe you can relate, or maybe those few minutes are your favorite time of church! Even though I dread it and often don’t participate in it, I will admit that I can see the value in it. Some churches call it greeting time, but Tish Harrison Warren calls this time in church passing the peace. The thought of an exchange slightly above a whisper with pre-planned words does make the idea of a greeting time less anxiety-producing to me.
Peace be with you… and also with you.
It doesn’t solve a lot of the other stressors and issues that are part of this forced human engagement, but I’ll pause my ruminating and turn instead to this style of interaction that our current culture so desperately needs.
Passing the peace. Extending a hand. Looking into someone’s eyes. Smiling. Wishing someone well. Acknowledging one another politely.
Our world in 2026 seems like it’s teeming with conflict, strong opinions, arrogance, loneliness, misunderstandings, insulting words, and animosity toward one another. We have to find a way to take the temperature down.
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 gently promises us. So it’s one thing to acknowledge this, and it’s a whole different level to live it out in our lives. How does that look? (I am confident that there are MANY ways!) Let’s explore a few introvert-friendly ways that we can “pass the peace” in the way that we live our lives as followers of Jesus.
Volunteer in your community. This will look differently for everyone, but working with a team to clean a stream or beach, packing sack supers for students in a school, helping with the process of taking less desirable produce and dehydrating it to ship to a country in need is going to bring you into contact with other people and inspire a feeling of camaraderie and unity.
2. Reach out to someone in a retirement home. Maybe you send a card or take a resident out for coffee. Perhaps you sit and do a puzzle with him or her or maybe just listen to one of the stories of his or her life while you nibble on a homemade treat you brought to share with that person. Get to know someone on a deeper level and develop a relationship.
3. Talk, text, and e-mail with a person in your life who follows Jesus and who has different viewpoints from you. Get to know and appreciate each other and work toward a point in your friendship where you can share articles and videos that accurately open a window on your perspective and encourage him or her to share the same from his or her opinion with you as well.
Read the articles and watch the videos and ask clarifying questions. Find what you believe in common and celebrate that. Do not do this in a social media group setting; make it a one on one continuing conversation where your goal is to see to the heart of your friend and to allow him or her to see yours as well.
4. Go to cultural celebrations and exhibitions that find your culture in the minority. Soak in the music, taste the food, and watch the enthusiasm of people who grew up with different traditions from you. Don’t judge; just appreciate and expand your mind to being a part of that particular culture for a few minutes or hours. Journal what you experienced but only from a positive perspective. Write what made you smile or laugh and write testimony of what you witnessed and participated in that is valuable and worth cherishing.
Come up with your own ideas too - the goal is to find common ground you share and to work toward understanding and harmony by forming a relationship. God will bless your efforts if your heart is in the right place!
