Attributes of an Accountable Person

Do you hate being corrected? I can’t think of anyone who enjoys being told that they are doing something wrong. We all know that we screw up and need to be corrected regularly but none of us like it. Think about the last time you were corrected. How did you respond? Did your actions reflect your emotions? Do you possess attributes of an accountable person?

Accountability means making yourself vulnerable to a trusted friend, family member, co-worker, or someone you trust by lowering your defenses and giving them permission to examine, question, appraise, and give you godly counsel. Such godly accountability requires you to be open and willing to give and receive truth. The key to effective accountability is learning to give and receive truth in love.

We are all complementary parts of the body, created to build one another up. When we function as one complete body, our efforts for the kingdom are multiplied and the body, as a whole, benefits.

Five Attributes of an Accountable Person

Attribue 1: Transparency

Webster’s dictionary defines transparent as “having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen…easily seen through.” We often hide behind opaque masks, trying to cover up what is truly on the inside so that we can project a certain image. In doing so, our “real selves” are masked and our deepest needs go unrecognized and unmet. We remain isolated, alone, and superficial in our relationships.

Consider this: Am I willing to reveal my secrets to gain prayer support and encouragement to grow? Am I willing to be transparent before others and God to ask for help?

Attribute 2: Honesty

Honesty may be defined as proclaiming the truth with sincerity and frankness in all situations. Ephesians 4:15 states, “But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head—Christ.” The truth that we will be speaking will be rooted in God’s word. While the truth may not always flatter you, it will set you free (John 8:32). Real friends are those who are willing to hear the truth, no matter how unflattering it may be, and pray you through the misery that may accompany it.

Consider this: Am I willing to share the “hard” stuff? Am I willing to listen when my friend speaks truth back into my life?

Attribute 3: Humility

An accountable person must be humble. Listening to another’s evaluation of your situation and actually hearing what they have to say takes a lot of humility. 1 Peter 5:5 reads, “…and all of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…” Humility is having a correct estimate of oneself in comparison to who God is. It means viewing others and their needs as more important/significant than your own. Humility leaves no room for selfish thoughts or ambitions.

Romans 12:10 tells us to “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Consider this: In what ways have you honored others above yourself lately? How have you met the needs, desires, or concerns of others?

Attribute 4: Trustworthiness

Your character is something worth developing and protecting. Do you follow through with what you say will do? Can you be trusted with a secret? Have you cultivated relationships where you feel safe to share your secrets? It is important that you have at least one person in your life who you trust enough to be completely honest with. We were created to be in relationship with one another—this life is for journeying together. Be a trustworthy companion!

Proverbs 17:9 tells us, “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Covering over an offense does not mean encouraging someone to continue in sin or to sin further by lying. However, an offense can be buried in mercy and grace when a trustworthy friend refuses to expose that weakness. Many friendships have been severed by publicly sharing private matters.

Consider this: Am I a trustworthy friend? Do I listen when others speak? Do I know when to keep my mouth shut?

Attribute 5: Teachable

You could possess the qualities above, but if you lack a teachable spirit, it will be for naught. When you invite someone to speak truth into your life, you need to be able to hear it, consider its validity, pray over it and take action. Otherwise, being in an accountable relationship is pointless. Why waste your time and theirs if you aren’t truly open to hearing AND acting on the godly counsel that is given?

Let me remind you again, this journey was created to walk together. Proverbs 17:17 reminds us that, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” So, call on your brothers and sisters in Christ to help you walk a straight path to the kingdom! You never know what kind of wisdom they may have to share.

Consider this: Do I have a teachable spirit? Do I prayerfully consider the counsel of others and act accordingly?

Establishing Accountability

There are several ways you can go about finding accountability. Here are just a few suggestions.

Ask a friend whom you trust. Tell them exactly what you are looking for in this relationship and establish regular meeting times. How often you meet is really up to you and your accountability partner. When life is particularly challenging, once a week can be helpful. Other seasons of your life may allow for once or twice a month. Consistency is the key to success. So, whatever frequency you decide on, it is important that you (both) follow through with meeting.

Join an existing accountability group. Several churches and organizations have these. Look into your local organizations to learn more.

You may be wondering, “What kinds of questions do I ask when we meet?” This really depends on the situation or what exactly you need accountability for. Over the years, I have had many women ask me to hold them accountable to spending time daily in scripture. Here is a sampling of the questions that I have used when we met:

How many days were you successful in spending time in the Word?

What have you been studying? What did God teach you as a result of your time with Him?

What temptations have you faced since our last meeting?

How can I be praying for you?

If you would like more ideas or sample questions, you can find them here.

Opening up to someone and sharing your struggles can be difficult at first. However, with a little practice and a lot of patience, you can grow to love this time of sharing. Once you see God at work in your life, you will never want to go back to the way things were before. There is great power to be found when you gather in the name of Jesus to grow and pray.