Rhythm of Rest: Count Sheep
By the time I got to this point in Rebekah Lyons’ book Rhythms of Renewal, I was feeling pretty optimistic about my relationship to and habits associated with the concept of “Rest” as Lyons had explained them. And then the conviction hit as I paged through this chapter. Sleep.
As I was processing her words, I realized that the essence of renewing my mind and body - sleeping well - is not something that I can claim as a life skill. Does this sound familiar to anyone? I’m a night owl, so I go to bed later than I should. I cherish that quiet time after the kids’ bedroom doors have closed for the night and feel like I’m re-energizing myself in that tranquil time after 10:00 each night. You would think that I would sleep well after a busy day, but after reading the description of how Lyons felt as a result of her sleep habits - “the anxiety, stress, and chaos of my internal world melting away”, I suddenly knew without a doubt that this is an area where I need improvement.
My subconscious goes into overdrive at night. Over the years, I have developed a habit of falling asleep that works well for me: I think about the desserts that I made for each of my kids’ birthday parties and picture it in my mind. I can now go through 17 + 15 + 12 + 11 years of birthday parties = 55 different desserts dancing through my fading consciousness, lulling me to sleep with the familiarity of repetition and the feelings of a job well done reverberating through my subconscious. But this soothing rhythm that brings me to a place of sleep does not always result in a restful night.
Sometimes during the night I’ll wake up startled and terrified, thinking about things that are the stuff of “Mom-Nightmares”: Am I doing a good enough job with the choices we have made for our kids? Was homeschooling the right choice? Should I have more rules? Should the kids have more chores they should be doing?
Usually after a few minutes, I can take a few deep breaths and surrender this middle of the night wake-up to fall back into slumber, but then I start to dream about being back in college only to realize that I have not attended classes nor done any of the assigned homework. Panic sets in, even though part of me knows that this is “Just a Dream”. My nights are not always restful, and I find myself envying Lyons’ habit of “going to bed tired and with a heart of release” (62). The encouraging part of this chapter is that this author also struggled with this until she became more intentional about her night times. I too can modify my day and structure it so that I too reap more of the benefits of a restful sleep!
Would this particular topic convict you as well? What wakes you up at night? When you hear the “recommended amount of sleep you should get”, are you falling into that category of acceptable, or do you just sip your caffeine a little more frequently throughout the day instead of owning up to the fact that you aren’t getting enough rest? Hopefully this is one of the areas where you do well and excel, but if not, perhaps it’s time to reconsider your choices related to your nighttime hours.