Mitch has always loved movies and sitcoms that make him laugh. I remember a few years ago hearing him laughing hysterically from the living room and going to investigate the cause of his mirth. Not surprisingly, he was watching another ridiculously stupid show called “Worst Week.” The premise of the show was that the main character’s life was a train wreck, and pretty much everything that he touched went wrong. Mitch found it particularly entertaining because in that season of our life, he could identify with that main character.
Sure, I have had days like that, but never whole seasons. Until recently. Let me share with you my recent “worst week”.
FRIDAY
Mitch had been struggling to breathe more than usual, so we had a virtual appointment with Cleveland Clinic (CC). During that appointment, his doctor advised he should go to the emergency room, but Mitch refused (for the second time in a week) because Nate, our oldest son, was graduating from U of M the next day and he was not going to miss his graduation. Instead, he negotiated with the doctor and convinced her that he would go to the CC emergency room immediately following the ceremony since we were going to be driving to Oklahoma afterwards anyway.
SATURDAY
Mitch was not well enough to attend the first graduation ceremony with the speakers but did attend the ceremony where Nate walked and received his diploma. Mitch struggled through the ceremony, we snapped a few pictures, and then we drove straight to the CC emergency room where they admitted him and began running tests.
The tests showed that he had multiple blood clots in his lungs. He was lectured on how dangerous it was to wait to come in. I was lectured on neglectful care, even though I had insisted that we go in sooner. Mitch was admitted to the hospital, and our trip to Oklahoma was delayed.
SUNDAY
We learned how precarious the situation was and that Mitch’s length of stay was unable to be determined until his medical team could discern the cause of the blood clots. His blood pressure was also dangerously high and needed to be monitored.
Not the news we were hoping for, but manageable with the timeframe we were working with. We still had a week before we needed to be in Oklahoma for an inspection on a home that we had gone under contract to purchase. The inspection was scheduled for the following Monday at 1pm.
MONDAY
We were still waiting on additional tests to be run. The medical team had not been able to locate the cause of the blood clots. We met a new pulmonologist who thought that the prolonged use of steroids may have been the cause and wanted to continue testing to confirm his theory. The pulmonologist had poor bedside manner and began his introduction to us by refusing treatment because neither of us had had the covid vaccine and claimed that Mitch’s illness could have been prevented if he would simply have had the shot!
You can imagine the frustration and anger that I felt, but somehow I mustered a massive amount of self-control to calmly explain that Mitch became ill with covid before the vaccine was an option and that I have an autoimmune condition that does not allow me to have the vaccine. After some debate, the doctor agreed to provide care, but I was (and still am) appalled at the way he engaged with us that day.
Mitch was not cleared to travel to Oklahoma because of the blood clots. The doctors suggested that he go home to recover, and they thought that he would be ready to be discharged on Tuesday. Sam and Gabe had been at Nate’s house, waiting to see if they needed to take their dad home, so we contacted them and made a plan for them to come and get Mitch the following day.
TUESDAY
The boys drove from Ann Arbor to pick Mitch up from CC. They were about an hour out when the doctors said that Mitch was not stable enough to leave that day. Then, approximately 45 minutes later, the boys texted me images of oil that had blown all over the motor of the Mini Cooper and asked what to do—as if I would know?!
Fifteen minutes from the hospital, the car had some issue that I did not understand (but apparently the boys thought that I would) which led to me looking for a garage that could work on foreign cars. Thankfully, I found one (thank you, Annie’s Auto) that was willing to squeeze our vehicle in and try to figure out what went wrong. The boys were able to limp the car along those last fifteen miles to the repair shop. I managed to meet Nate, Sam, and Gabe at the shop, discussed the situation with the mechanic, and then headed back to the hospital where we chilled out for some quality family time.
WEDNESDAY
The stress began to mount. The Mini Cooper would not be finished today, and I needed to be in Oklahoma tomorrow or at least someplace where there was internet because I was supposed to teach an online class all day. With some help from friends of the ministry, we planned for me to fly to Oklahoma and the boys to drive my car home. This seemed like a solid plan, but this is where things really started to spiral out of control.
I hadn’t planned to fly. Thankfully, Mitch had packed his belongings in a suitcase. After Mitch was finally discharged from the hospital and the plane ticket was purchased, we went into turbo mode to get me to the airport on time. I stood in the parking lot of the hospital with my bags and belongings strewn out behind the car and my clothes dispersed among three different bags. I had less than an hour before my plane departed. and it was a 24 minute drive to the airport. After I hastily packed a suitcase, we rushed to the airport.
The guys dropped me off, and I walked briskly to the counter to check in for the flight only to discover that my e-ticket was on my phone which was still in the car… I literally turned around and ran toward the exit, hoping that just this once Mitch’s slow pace would have paid off and he would still be parked at the curb. Nope. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe. Repeat. My eyes darted around looking for a person to ask for help. That is when I saw her. I begged a lady who sat atop a cement pillar smoking a cigarette to allow me to use her phone to call Mitch just hoping to reach him before he and the boys left the terminal. Just as Mitch answered the phone, I saw Samuel running back towards me with my phone in hand. Crisis averted – praise God!
WIth my phone in hand, I headed back to the counter to complete the check in process only to discover that my flight had been canceled. Take a deep breath…exhale. Repeat. No problem. There was another flight scheduled to leave in two hours and there was an open seat on that flight. I headed to the gate area, spent some time reviewing teaching notes for the next day and then walked a few laps before getting ready to board. That is when I received the notification on my phone that the flight had been delayed. My stomach decided it was time to find some food while waiting for the next flight.
After I finished my Chick-Fil-A salad, I received another notification, but this time I learned that the flight had been canceled. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Repeat. No problem. I went in search of a gate agent to find out my options. I was told that another flight was departing in two hours, and they had put me on that plane. Time to chill and read a book.
Boarding time. Woot, woot! Everything was looking good. Half of the passengers had boarded and for the first time all week, I was feeling hopeful until I noticed something peculiar happening. Something was really wrong; people were getting OFF the plane. That was when the gate agent announced, “We are experiencing a slight delay due to an emergency door being opened. Once we have the door secured, we will be able to finish the boarding process and get you on your way.”
Thirty minutes later, “Attention passengers on flight number #### to Dallas/Ft Worth. Your flight has been canceled. There are no more flights going out tonight. Please see a gate agent for more information.”
No problem?! I was exhausted. I wanted to throw myself on the floor and have a meltdown like a three year old right there in the terminal. But, instead I kept things in perspective. Afterall, what’s one more cancellation after a week like this?! Take a deep breath. Exhale. Repeat. Get in line. Heart races. Pulse rises. Breathe. Remain calm. This was the point on the trip that I began to wonder, “Is God trying to tell me something? Did I hear him wrong? Should I NOT be going to Oklahoma this week?” I practiced breath prayers (more on this in our next post!) and Googled other airlines—did anyone have another flight leaving for Kansas City, MO tonight?!
Southwest for the win! The flight was scheduled to depart in 45 minutes and I needed to talk to the gate agent about getting my luggage routed. After what seemed like an excruciating long wait, I finally spoke with a gate agent who claimed that my luggage had been rerouted to Kansas City and I would be able to retrieve my luggage at baggage claim upon landing. After the week I had, I was a skeptic, but with less than 20 minutes to departure, I headed to the gate area for my next flight.
Turns out I had nothing to worry about because when I arrived at the gate, I discovered that the flight had been delayed due to lightning. No joke. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. I pulled out my book and tried to relax and take a break from this crazy day. After 45 minutes we began boarding the plane, and I could hardly believe it when we actually left the airport.
Arrival in Kansas City was uneventful until I arrived at baggage claim. I waited, and waited and thought surely this can't be happening. There was a jam on the baggage belt, so I figured my bag must be stuck in that jam and I continued to wait, but NOPE. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. You guessed it—no bag for me. I found my way to the airline office, and they were kind and gave me a toiletry kit, but I had no choice but to hope that my bag would arrive the next day on a flight with American Airlines.
Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse, I headed to the rental car company to pick up the car that I had reserved. I arrived at the counter only to be told that they did not have any cars left. I looked the bewildered employee in the eyes and asked, “Can you help me understand how someone can have a reservation and show up and not have a car?” He went on to explain that there were electric cars available or HUGE vehicles but not a small car like requested. Since I had to drive over 300 miles I asked, “Can an electric car drive to Oklahoma?” He politely informed me that it could not. “Right. That is why I reserved a car that uses gasoline.”
I left the rental company with a minivan that had to be brought back the next day (because it was reserved for someone else–oh the irony of that request) and exchanged it for a smaller car.
THURSDAY
I began this day by teaching my online class in a hoodie, but at least I had clean teeth thanks to that complimentary toiletry kit! My luggage did not show up as promised. No big deal. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. This level of stress threatened to crush me as I planned my departure to Oklahoma for the next morning. My biggest concern at this juncture was the medication that I had hastily thrown into my checked luggage instead of my carry-on. I sure could have used that anti-anxiety medication right about now!
FRIDAY
Home inspection day! Today was the day that Mitch and I were scheduled to see the house that we had hoped to purchase. Thankfully, my suitcase was sitting outside the front door of my sister’s house when I was getting ready to leave for Oklahoma!
The potential new home was disappointing. At first glance, it was beautiful, but upon a closer inspection I discovered mold in the bathrooms, and that was a deal breaker for us. I was disappointed but thankful to have uncovered this before the purchase. It was sad to be looking at homes without Mitch and to be making such major decisions without his input.
SATURDAY
I awoke this morning to a headache that must have been from the pressure that I had been feeling to find a home while in Oklahoma over the weekend. The realtor and I had looked at several homes so far, but none had been a good fit for us. They all had major issues that would not work well given our current situation. For the first time in our marriage, we were not looking for a fixer upper. I had been tasked with finding a home that would be a place to rest, to heal, and to just live this new season of life together. A place where there were no unfinished projects staring us in the face each day. This task felt unsurmountable as I looked at the homes that were available in our price range.
SUNDAY
I woke up feeling a tad bit sad to be separated from my family on Mother’s Day. I was blessed to be included in the Proctor family’s celebrations and even received a sweet call from Nathanael that morning. But all of that was overshadowed by the building pressure to find a home before my departure on Monday. I was still feeling some pressure from the realtor to remain in the contract for the first home (the one with mold) and was frustrated that she had not canceled the contract as I had requested several times. I had to call the realtor again and made my decision to cancel the original contract expressly known. Not feeling overly confident that she heard me, I reached out to her boss and terminated the contract.
Later that same day, I called and asked to see a home that the Proctors and I had seen while out on a walk that was for sale by the owner. It was a newer build, just two years old, and I had fallen in love with it. It was at this point in our horrible, no good, very bad week that things finally started to look up.
This is the house that we purchased. Please note our new address: 555 Woodlands Drive, Tahlequah, OK 74464.
This week, my “worst week” in a long time, had been overwhelming at multiple moments and yet, I was able to have a peace that could have only come from God. Even in the chaos, I could still see God and His goodness at work because I have been learning that gratitude is a choice. While it can be easy to let the “worst” parts of our days threaten to overwhelm us, keeping a gratitude journal or even completing a simple mental rundown of the good that has happened each day can be helpful in cultivating a heart of gratitude. Read on to learn more about how God showed up amidst the chaos of my emotionally exhausting week.
*FRIDAY
Grateful for technology and for the ability to receive specialty care from a distance. Grateful for friends who let us stay at their home and loved on our family.
*SATURDAY
Grateful for friends who were willing to drive Mitch to the second graduation ceremony so that I could attend both ceremonies. Grateful that Mitch and I could see Nate graduate and celebrate this accomplishment with him. Grateful for doctors who listened and who took immediate action to care for Mitch. Grateful for a doting daughter-in-law who went out of her way to make graduation special for Nate.
We are so proud of Nathanael and how hard he worked to graduate from the University of Michigan. Go Blue!
SUNDAY
Grateful for friends and family who checked in on us as we sat in the hospital awaiting answers. Grateful for the nurses and their diligent care. Grateful for technology and the help that it was in diagnosing Mitch’s condition.
MONDAY
Grateful for a pulmonologist who has an alternative treatment plan. Thankful for the will to live that I see flaring in Mitch. Thankful for my sister’s gift of lunch via DoorDash and her chats on the phone that made me laugh.
TUESDAY
Grateful that all three of our boys came to see their father in the hospital and for the laughter that we shared. Grateful for Annie’s Auto and their willingness to squeeze our car into their schedule and for communicating with us every step of the way. Grateful for my sister and her gifting our family dinner via DoorDash. Grateful for the invention of hotels, warm showers, and a bed to sleep in.
WEDNESDAY
Grateful for ministry partners who go above and beyond to meet a need and purchased my airline ticket and rental car for my trip to Oklahoma. Grateful for airlines who follow safety protocols even when it is inconvenient. Grateful for small acts of kindness (toiletry kit) when life gets crazy. Thankful for a car to get to my sister’s house and go to sleep. Grateful for flexibility when the best laid plans fail.
THURSDAY
Thankful for a learning environment that is understanding and gracious when luggage is lost. Thankful for the opportunity to impact global workers even if it is in a hoodie! Grateful to meet my nephew for the first time and get baby cuddles! Grateful for time with my sister to just chill and relax. Grateful for time with my niece even if it meant singing “Wheels on the Bus” countless times.
Baby cuddles can fix just about anything. Especially when the baby is this cute!
FRIDAY
Thankful for God’s protection, discernment, clarity and direction in looking for a home. Thankful for safe travel and for guidance when Google Maps kept taking me to the boondocks on my way to the Proctor’s home. Thankful for a fireside chat and laughter with Jaxon and Ashtyn.
SATURDAY
Thankful for time with friends. Grateful to have others to talk to and discuss potential home options with. Grateful for the walk that led us past the home that we are now looking to purchase. Grateful for friends who were willing to give up family time and explore homes with me. Grateful for the opportunity to explore potential home purchases through the eyes of children.
SUNDAY
Blessed to spend time at church in worship with other believers. Grateful for being spoiled by the Proctors for Mother’s Day. Grateful for time with Ashtyn and Jaxon playing pickleball. Grateful for the decadent chocolate bars that Alyssa gifted me. Grateful for the opportunity to watch a Alyssa be loved on by her family for Mother’s Day.
While I definitely experienced the “worst week” that I had in quite a while, there were many opportunities to express gratitude throughout that week. However, If I had only been focused on all that was going wrong, I would have missed the opportunity to express gratitude for the good. An attitude of gratitude is possible, even in our “worst week”, if we make a habit of practicing it daily. Go ahead. Give it a try. The next time you feel stressed take a deep breath, exhale, repeat (don’t forget to watch for our next post to learn more about breath prayers). Take a moment and look for the good and then praise God for it. Hopefully, like me, you are learning that he can take anything and turn it into something good.
Grateful to be on this journey with you,
Heather